The first thing to consider is if the privacy and intimacy is worth the risk of offending your close friends and family.  They would like to be part of your special wedding day.  If you think your friends and family will understand, consider the benefits that elopement offers.  The marriage you start is about the bond between you, and it should be the most important part of any ceremony.  Eliminating all of the party considerations may make it easier to focus on the deep meaning your wedding ceremony holds for you.

Consider planning a party to include your friends and family when you get back – this may take some of the sting out of being excluded for them. You can enjoy the party more as you are already married.

To elope, keep your plans secret and book your wedding and honeymoon as quickly as possible.  When the big day comes, enjoy it and get ready for the rest of your life.  When you get back you can make announcements and start planning for the big party.

For example, you can tell people something like this:

Hi!  Sam and I just snuck off and got married in the Valley of Fire!  We went here on one of our first trips together and loved it, so we thought it would be the best place to start the next phase of our life.  We’re sorry we couldn’t invite you out with us, but it was important to us to have a ceremony alone – and we didn’t want to subject anyone else to the Nevada summer heat!  We’re off to China for our honeymoon, but as soon as we get back we’ll give you more details and talk about getting together for a nice big party to celebrate.  We’re very excited about this and hope you share our happiness even if you couldn’t be there for the ceremony.

Love,

Matt & Sam Katz